In life there are
things we know which science eventually proves to be true. Like a fever that begins with chills is
confirmed with a thermometer, we are learning in these times of transformation that
we can think with our hearts as much as our minds.
Intuition is a force long regarded as a voice with
value. Often labeled as a woman's
insight, even men have been told to ultimately trust their gut when making tough
decisions. We know this truth to be self-evident, still we continually struggle
to keep the deepest urges of our heart free of the bombardment of conscious
rules of what to do or don't. Without
quantifiable substance, our passions are muted, devalued and eventually deemed
irrational and often dissolve of their own inertia.
It is regularly said that all actions are manifestations
of either love or fear. Events cascade
and the direction of their flow is based in large part on the stronger
influence in that particular moment. Like
all the colors in the universe being shades and combinations of just three,
these two primary forces wield enormous power over how we operate in the world. In each moment, we have the choice. Motivated by one or the other, we take steps
forward in life or choose to stand still, creating our realities in the process. What we imagine comes true.
Love is usually seen as expansive. We can feel it physically in our chest, a
powerful pulse of heart, a deep breath from the belly, the urge to open our
arms and embrace. Life seems beautiful.
Fear is contractive.
Our muscles tense. Shoulders curl
inwards to protect our hearts. Our minds
assess, evaluate and form plans of escape.
Balance is lost to the rapid swings of the choices in
certain moments. In an instant, we can leap from one to the other. A word, a gesture, a look in the right or
wrong direction sends us soaring or plummeting. Often unable to recognize the
cue, instantaneous reactions based on past experience take precedence over
clear choices. We re-act without even
knowing the triggers have once again been squeezed.
Reflection teaches us to learn from our mistakes. From a quieter place after the fact, we can
contemplate what happened and glean the morsel of insight that caused us to
stand or run. Smiles of recognition
punctuate the repeated oath to not be so fooled again. Meditation is a place of peace where we find
the balance, release the contractions and expand our hearts. The flow of energy is renewed and redirected
in a more positive direction.
None of us wants to live in fear. We long for love, search high and low for the
evidence and race towards its rainbow in the eternal and unshakable belief
there is a pot of gold underneath.
The fear in our minds, the memories of disappointments
and pain in our previous attempts, amplify the chatter that warns us to stay
safe. Thoughts clutch and restrain the
initial burst of passion. We can so
easily hesitate or turn away.
In a moment recently, I had the opportunity to make a
difference and transform fearful energy into a wonderful memory. Working so hard in the last years to have the
tools of love readily available, my own heart still contracted in response and
the embracing energy evaporated.
For the rest of that afternoon and late into the
sleepless night, my mind tossed and turned over the various approaches and
results that could have been, might have been.
In many scenarios, I could see my life very changed by the consequences
of that sudden seizure of fear that failed to embrace and celebrate, hesitating
and then contemplating too many avenues of loss.
Regret is terrifying.
Finally at dawn, in the rejuvenating light of a new day,
love returned to push away the fear.
There remained the trust that passion is real, that it is better to feel
scared than not to feel at all. With the
sunrise, a vision appeared of a way to reach out again.
Forgiveness, both of ourselves and of others, is our
finest trump.
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