Friday, June 10, 2011

Writer, by God

In perfect timing with the two weeks I am supposed to be couch-ridden comes an online series of workshops on how to write, publish and market a book. Full of emotional energy and trying not to move too much too fast, I have hours of informative conversations to keep me busy, supplemental resources to explore, and a new network of blogs and facebook friends to befriend.

The universal conspiracy to provide happiness is further evidenced that in the month prior to my surgery, about 100 of my blog essays have beautifully translated themselves into a full manuscript, nearly without effort, fleshed out with background narratives about my childhood, father/son relationships and the period of life on the Oregon Coast when I was both directed towards and distracted from my journey as a writer.

Marvelously, this tumble from my particular scaffold so long ago that has landed me on the couch today, combined with the fight against a Goliathical insurance company and the emotional examination and repair of the groin injury, have all conveniently added up to a whole second book, neatly wrapped and presented together as a follow-up I now jokingly call “The Peequel.”

Halfway through the twenty-one lectures, this course arouses the energy to stand up and shout, to call myself at last an author (my mother would have been so proud!) and then take solid action to manifest the credentials to back it up, namely find a publisher to officially turn the manuscript into a book. Focused on a genre of transformational insight, my own journey blends nicely with the subject, weaving the backward-turned-forward tale out of marriage into manhood more like a novel than a ten step program.

The course, however, is teaching me in a much broader scale, culling a larger message out of the short essays, a lesson about taking charge of your life and inspiring others to do the same. Having taken such a long course of painfully repressed and joyfully released passion in the first half of my lifetime, I am compelled to share the excitement of the second.

My rapid recovery from surgery this week, after so much dire warning, confirms for me that heartfelt trust in the higher purpose and process of living makes everything happening in the trenches and meadows turn out to be just fine. No matter how scary the world in general and such an ordeal in particular appear, “letting go and letting God” , breathing deeply to allow events to gently unfold, makes everything so much easier.

Too often we think we have a choice, facing fear, to kick and struggle and push it aside, hopefully finding another way. If the lessons are not learned, however, it seems the Universe delivers them over and over in bigger and bigger ways.

Only when I have finally stood my ground, held my head high, and bravely accepted the pain and suffering of my journey, the hardship seems immediately to dissolve. I heal miraculously this week and am ecstatic with heartfelt joy, gratefully alive.

Every lesson in this course, every aspect of my injury and recovery, the cure to my past unhappy days, and the path to a joyful future, centers on living each moment being faithfully responsive to the heart. Listen carefully to intuition, spirit, inner guides. They are all the messages of God, Allah, Buddha, speaking through us, the divine in each of us that wants to celebrate, share and embrace.

This course through the internet links me to countless other authors with similar beliefs and manuscripts in stages more or less complete than mine. The old way of thinking competitively creates fear that too much of the same makes nothing exceptional, when in actuality, each and every story is as unique and refreshing as the drops of water in the ocean. Together, we can be the Tsunami that washes away the fears.

In a week, we should know if this one chance of surgery will have healed the physical rupture. In two, I should finally have this tube out of my belly removed. Over these eighteen months, I have tried and occasionally succeeded to live as if the latex appendage was not a constant reminder that life has its drags. Sometimes, the beauty of a sunset or the serene smile of a loving friend has been just too, too sweet to think of anything less than wonderful.

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